All That Money Can Buy (1941)

All That Money Can Buy (1941) poster
Rating: ★★★★
Pact with The Devil

Classic film about a lawyer arguing in court to save a man who has sold his soul to The Devil. On screen, this is turned into a highly entertaining sentimentalised Frank Capra-type film about American greatness

An American Carol (2008)

An American Carol (2008) poster
Rating:
American Conservative Version of A Christmas Carol

A ridiculous American conservative satire that turns Dickens’ A Christmas Carol into a heavy-handed farce where a Michael Moore lookalike is made to see the error of his liberal ways

Amerigeddon (2016)

Rating:
Conspiracy Junkie Fantasy of a USA Invaded

Chuck Norris’s son directs spectacularly bad film that acts as a fantasy for every lunatic right wing conspiracy where the UN wants to overthrow the US government and confiscate everybody’s guns

Armageddon (1998)

Armageddon (1998) poster
Rating:
Asteroid on a Collision Course with Earth

A film that relentlessly celebrates its own brainlessness. Michael Bay directs an asteroid collision film amid plenty of loud noise, mass destruction, flag-waving patriotism and resolute heroism

Atlas Shrugged II: The Strike (2012)

Atlas Shrugged II: The Strike (2012) poster
Rating:
Libertarian Political Fantasy/Ayn Rand Adaptation

The second film from Ayn Rand’s libertarian fantasy. This gets more into the meat of Rand’s ideas (wherein the wealthy decide to ignore an undeserving world) and is even more ridiculous than the first film

Atlas Shrugged III: Who is John Galt? (2014)

Atlas Shrugged III: Who is John Galt? (2014) poster
Rating:
Libertarian Political Fantasy/Ayn Rand Adaptation

The third of the trilogy of films adapted from Ayn Rand’s absurd fantasy wherein the leaders of the business world decide to go on strike because they don’t feel appreciated enough

Atlas Shrugged (2011)

Atlas Shrugged (2011) poster
Rating: ★★
Libertarian Political Fantasy/Ayn Rand Adaptation

The first in a three part film adaptation of Ayn Rand’s novel that makes a heavy-handed and frequently tub-thumping argument for the virtues of selfishness and despisal of any rules of fairness

Battleship (2012)

Battleship (2012) poster
Rating:
US Navy vs Alien Invaders/Boardgame Adaptation

Adaptation of the Battleship boardgame that emerges at best as wannabe Michael Bay. Imagine Pearl Harbor mashed up with a Transformers film and lots of bone-headed glorification of American militarism

Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011)

Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011) poster
Rating:
Twilight Sequel/Vampire Marriage and Pregnancy

The point where the Twilight series collapses under its pretensions and draws every detail of its wedding out for an excruciating hour. A series that has been all about preaching chastity then segues into Right to Life advocacy

Dirty Harry (1971)

Dirty Harry (1971) poster
Rating: ★★★
Tough Individualistic Cop vs a Psycho

The film that made Clint Eastwood’s name. He is a rule-bending cop who decides he has to defy the system in his pursuit of a psycho (a thinly disguised version of the then active Zodiac Killer)

Disclosure (1994)

Disclosure (1994) poster
Rating: ★★★
Michael Crichton Adaptation/Sexual Harassment Thriller/Virtual Reality

It is telling that the only film made about workplace sexual harassment up to this point is one that painted the male as a victim. This adaptation of a Michael Crichton book came mired in controversy

Falling Down (1993)

Falling Down (1993) theatrical poster
Rating:
Man's Shooting Rampage Against the Frustrations of Life

Though many people celebrated this as black comedy about Michael Douglas taking up arms on a shooting rampage against the petty frustrations of modern life, it is a film that is really a single redneck rant against the poor and minorities

Fatal Attraction (1987)

Fatal Attraction (1987) poster
Rating: ★★
Female Stalker

Classic and highly influential psycho-thriller with Glenn Close as a deranged woman who stalks married man Michael Douglas after he has a fling with her. The film’s stature has been overstated and beneath the surface it holds a very conservative outlook on gender politics

Gabriel Over the White House (1933)

Gabriel Over the White House (1933) poster
Rating: ★★
Angels Influence The President to Ruthless Action

Truly amazing William Randolph Hearst financed film about a weak US President who is influenced by angels and ruthlessly cracks down on law and order

The Green Inferno (2013)

The Green Inferno (2013) theatrical poster
Rating: ★★½
Cannibal Film

Eli Roth pays homage to the Italian cannibal films of the 70/80s, the most extreme genre ever put on film. While not uninteresting, rendered on a studio budget and passed uncut by the MPAA, this never touches the raw savagery of the originals

The Hunt (2020)

The Hunt (2020) poster
Rating: ★★★
Human Bloodsports/Liberals Hunt Conservatives

Controversial variant on the human bloodsports plot of The Most Dangerous Game but where liberals hunt conservatives. A film with a darkly satiric bite that sets out to offend people on both sides of the political fence

Joker’s Wild (2016)

Joker's Wild (2016) poster
Rating:
Theatre Haunted by Killer Clowns

Completely ridiculous killer clown film with a theatre haunted by clowns where nothing makes any sense. Even more absurdly, it becomes a preachy diatribe in favour of the right to gun ownership

Oƨombie (2012)

Osombie (2012) poster
Rating: ★★
Osama bin Laden as a Zombie

This surely takes the cake amid the fad for wacky zombie films in which Osama bin Laden is resurrected as a zombie. Imagine a mash-up between Zero Dark Thirty and a zombie film

Panic in Year Zero! (1962)

Panic in Year Zero! (1962) poster
Rating: ★★
Nuclear War/Ruthless Survivalism

A film about the outbreak of nuclear war directed by actor Ray Milland. What takes you aback is the naked liberatarian fantasy that Milland engages in, arguing in favour of a brutal ruthlessness in the name of survival

Red Planet Mars (1952)

Red Planet Mars (1952) poster
Rating:
Radio Messages from God on Mars

One of the most bizarre of 1950s Communist Fear films in which humanity begins to receive radio message from God on Mars. The film’s politics are hysterical today.

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014) poster
Rating: ★★
Live-Action Transformer Robots

Are there any new creative directions that Michael Bay feels he he has to explore for a fourth Transformers film? All the Transformers beating the crap out of each other and copious mass destruction has become hard to tell one of the films from each other

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) poster
Rating: ★★
Live-Action Transformer Robots

The third of Michael Bay’s Transformers films. While the human scenes opt for a ghastly miscalculated sense of humour, the effects houses are at the peak of their game, even if Bay allows them to drag the mass destruction out to a numbing excess

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) poster
Rating: ★★
Live-Action Transformer Robots

The first of Michael Bay’s Transformers sequels has even better effects and more copious mass destruction to the point it washes over you without any effect