Thirteen Erotic Ghosts (2002) poster

Thirteen Erotic Ghosts (2002)

Rating:

USA. 2002.

Crew

Director – Nicholas Medina [Fred Olen Ray], Screenplay – Sherman Scott, Producer – Kimberly A. Ray, Photography (3D) – Gary Graver, Visual Effects Supervisor – Scott Carey, Special Effects Supervisor – Martin A. Nicholas, Art Direction – Mr. Jogggles. Production Company – Retromedia Entertainment, Inc.

Cast

Jay Richardson (Ted Nightingale), Mia Zottoli (Gina DiCaprio), Julie Strain (Baroness Lucrezia), Richard Gabai (Mikey Kaminski), Gordon Baer (Hugo), Felony, Aria Giovanni, The Porcelain Twinz & Nicole Specht (Ghosts), Fred Olen Ray (Professor Ted Isor)


Plot

A tv documentary crew hosted by Ted Nightingale go to shoot an episode of a ghost hunter show at the mansion that was the former Waffle Home for Wayward Girls. Thirteen girls perished in a fire and their ghosts are reputed to haunt the building. As the crew begin filming, looking through their special ghost goggles, they see various of the girls’ ghosts engaged in erotic encounters with one another.


Erotic and pornographic films have a habit of taking a popular film hit and conducting soundalike adult variations – see titles such as Flesh Gordon (1972), Edward Penishands (1991), The Flintbones (1992), Jurassic Pork (1996) and Shaving Ryan’s Privates (2002), among a great many others. Thirteen Erotic Ghosts came out not long after Thir13en Ghosts (2001), which in itself was a remake of the old William Castle gimmick film 13 Ghosts (1960). To its credit, the filmmakers seem to have watched the 1960 original enough to rehash the Ghost Viewer glasses gimmick for the 3D scenes (a dimension that was missing from the remake, which came in standard 2D).

Thirteen Erotic Ghosts comes from Fred Olen Ray – hiding here behind the pseudonym of Nicholas Medina. Olen Ray is an incredibly prolific exploitation director, having made over two hundred films, frequently in the horror, science-fiction, action or cheap softcore erotica genres. (See below for a full list of these). He is one of the principal proponents of the Scream Queen fad of the late 1980s/early 90s. (Olen Ray can also be spotted not far into the film as a character called Professor Ted Isor who introduces the 3D glasses).

Thirteen Erotic Ghosts was a softcore erotic film, something that was made for video release or cable markets during this period. It is a genre that tends to avoid anything hardcore – like showing genitalia (here we at most get a few pubic bushes and some very occasional glimpses of female labia) and certainly nothing in the way of penetration shots. The action just consists of unclothed girls humping one another, writhing in the throes of passion and pretending (not very well) to be eating one another out. In the opening scenes, we get the novel image of them double-fellating a vibrator (in scenes that supposedly have a 19th Century setting! ie. before the invention of the modern slimline vibrator).

I can’t say I have ever sat through an erotic or adult movie that has done so little to turn me on – or even involve me in the most basic way. None of the girls seems the slightest bit convincing in their performances, let alone to be taking the film seriously. (The worst offender here is the only well-known name in the cast line-up – B movie actress Julie Strain). The film even goes to the extent of some of the actors breaking the fourth wall and turning to address the camera direct – like when Richard Gabai follows Mia Zottoli up the stairs looking at her ass and turns to us, holding up his glasses: “Bet you were wishing these were x-ray glasses right now.” There is nothing to the plot other than people wandering into various rooms of the house and seeing girls making out with each other. At no point do the guys ever get undressed and join in the action – it consists entirely of lesbian scenes among the ghost girls or sometimes accompanied by the tv show’s producer Mia Zottoli. Despite the title promising Thirteen Erotic Ghosts, there are only six actresses playing the ghosts.

Fred Olen Ray has made a lengthy list of genre films. These include:- The Brain Leeches (1977), The Alien Dead/It Fell from the Sky (1980), Scalps (1983), Biohazard (1984), The Tomb (1985), The Adventures of Taura: Prison Ship Star Slammer (1986), The Phantom Empire (1986), Cyclone (1987), Beverly Hills Vamp (1988), Deep Space (1988), Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988), Warlords (1988), Alienator (1990), Bad Girls from Mars (1990), Spirits (1990), Haunting Fear (1991), Scream Queen Hot Tub Party (1991), Wizards of the Demon Sword (1991), Evil Toons (1992), Little Devils (1993), Dinosaur Island (1994), Mind Twister (1994), Possessed By the Night (1994), Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds (1995), Cyber Zone/Droid Gunner (1995), Invisible Mom (1995), Star Hunter (1995), Night Shade (1996), Passionate Revenge/Friend of the Family II/Hell Hath No Fury (1996), Hybrid (1997), Little Miss Magic/Kidwitch (1997), Billy Frankenstein (1998), Dear Santa/My Dad Santa (1998), Illicit Dreams 2 (1998), Invisible Dad (1998), Active Stealth (1999), Fugitive Mind (1999), Invisible Mom 2 (1999), The Kid with X-Ray Eyes (1999), Prophet (1999), Critical Mass (2000), Sideshow (2000), Kept (2001), Stranded (2001), Venomous (2001), Final Examination (2003), Bikini-a-Go-Go/Curse of the Erotic Tiki (2004), Genie in a String Bikini (2004), Haunting Desire (2004), Teenage Cavegirl (2004), Glass Trap (2005), Tomb of the Werewolf (2005), Bikini Girls from a Lost Planet (2006), Bikini Pirates (2006), Ghost in a Teeny Bikini (2006), Bewitched Housewives (2007), The Girl With Sex-Ray Eyes (2007), Nuclear Hurricane (2007), Super Ninja Bikini Babes (2007), Polar Opposites (2008), Solar Flare (2008), Tarzeena, Queen of Kong Island (2008), Voodoo Dollz (2008), Dire Wolf (2009), Silent Venom (2009), Bikini Frankenstein (2010), Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (2010), Housewives from Another World (2010), Turbulent Skies (2010), Twilight Vamps (2010), Lady Chatterly’s Ghost (2011), Little Witches (2011), Rewind Time Machine (2011), Super Shark (2011), Dirty Blondes from Beyond (2012), Abner the Invisible Dog (2013), After Midnight (2014), Unwanted Guest (2016), Stage Fright (2017) and The Twin (2017).


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