Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (2010) poster

Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (2010)

Rating:


USA. 2010.

Crew

Director/Screenplay – Nicholas Medina [Fred Olen Ray], Producer – Kimberly A. Ray, Photography – Max Montgomery, Production Design – Elizabeth Callens. Production Company – Retromedia Entertainment.

Cast

Christine Nguyen (Bikini Jones), Heather Vandeven (Evilla Ccruella), Rebecca Love (Carol Summers), Frankie Cullen (Drago), Tony Marino (Mark X), Ted Newsom (Martin), Brynn Tyler (Janette)


Plot

On behalf of the CIA, archaeologist-adventurer Bikini Jones has been assigned to break into the office of Evilla Cruella and steal an idol. The idol contains clues that lead to the temple of Eros from where Evilla seeks to obtain the Tiara of Ayesha, which will make her empress of the land of Moronica. Bikini sets out to get to the temple first in between sexual liaisons with various woman and men and avoiding Evilla’s schemes to obtain the idol.


Behind the pseudonym of Nicholas Medina hides Fred Olen Ray, one of the most prolific directors out there in genre material. Olen Ray has been at work as a director since the 1970s and has put out more than 150 films in the horror, science-fiction, thriller, action and erotic genres, often operating under a host of pseudonyms – Nicholas Medina is one that he uses for most of his softcore work. Olen Ray’s films include the likes of Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988). Scream Queen Hot Tub (1991) and Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold (1995). (See below for a full list of Fred Olen Ray’s other genre titles).

Olen Ray has also put out quite a body of softcore work for cable. Since the 1990s, he has made no less than seventeen films with the word ‘bikini’ in their title – as evidence by titles such as Bikini Drive-In (1995), Bikini Hoe-Down (1997), Genie in a String Bikini (2004), Bikini Chain Gang (2005), Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet (2006), Ghost in a Teeny Bikini (2006), Super Ninja Bikini Babes (2007) and Bikini Frankenstein (2010), among others. Bikini Jones is softcore erotica that has been made for cable – it never goes anything beyond plenty of boobs, some pubic glimpses and pretend humping but no visible genitalia or penetration shots. (For a more detailed overview see Erotica and Pornography in Fantastic Cinema).

Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros is a parody of the Indiana Jones film. Albeit one where Harrison Ford’s Indy is replaced by a 5’6” Vietnamese-born adult actress Christine Nguyen. She’s outfitted in the fedora and a leather coat but spends more of the time out of them. In fact, it must be said that she spends more time engaged in unclothed encounters with various men and women she meets along the way than she actually does any tomb raiding.

Christine Nguyen in Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros (2010)
Christine Nguyen as Bikini Jones

This is definitely an Adventure Film shot on the cheap. It is, for instance, not until after the one-hour point when Cynthia Nguyen stops having sexual hook-ups and actually set out to go tomb raiding – and even then we only get a single brief scene where she actually enters into the temple. There is however a passable CGI dinosaur effect (quite possibly copied from one of Fred Olen Ray’s other films).

All of the actresses in the film have careers elsewhere doing porn and adult film work. There seems bad acting aplenty from about the opening scene where Cynthia Nguyen breaks into an office to steal the idol and is found by security guard Brynn Tyler where neither actress can clearly be seen to making much effort to appear convincing as the apprehension turns into a sexual encounter. Villain of the show Heather Vandeven even manages to talk about making an ‘ix-scape’ at one point. The worst of the performances comes from Olen Ray regular and B movie documentary-maker Ted Newsom as the CIA agent who turns up in drag right at the end and snatches the tiara before being eaten by the dinosaur while crying “I’m too pretty to die.”

Fred Olen Ray has made a lengthy list of genre films. These include:- The Brain Leeches (1977), The Alien Dead/It Fell from the Sky (1980), Scalps (1983), Biohazard (1984), The Tomb (1985), The Adventures of Taura: Prison Ship Star Slammer (1986), The Phantom Empire (1986), Cyclone (1987), Beverly Hills Vamp (1988), Deep Space (1988), Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988), Warlords (1988), Alienator (1990), Bad Girls from Mars (1990), Spirits (1990), Haunting Fear (1991), Scream Queen Hot Tub Party (1991), Wizards of the Demon Sword (1991), Evil Toons (1992), Little Devils (1993), Dinosaur Island (1994), Mind Twister (1994), Possessed By the Night (1994), Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds (1995), Cyber Zone/Droid Gunner (1995), Invisible Mom (1995), Star Hunter (1995), Night Shade (1996), Passionate Revenge/Friend of the Family II/Hell Hath No Fury (1996), Hybrid (1997), Little Miss Magic/Kidwitch (1997), Billy Frankenstein (1998), Dear Santa/My Dad Santa (1998), Illicit Dreams 2 (1998), Invisible Dad (1998), Active Stealth (1999), Fugitive Mind (1999), Invisible Mom 2 (1999), The Kid with X-Ray Eyes (1999), Prophet (1999), Critical Mass (2000), Sideshow (2000), Kept (2001), Stranded (2001), Venomous (2001), Thirteen Erotic Ghosts (2002), Final Examination (2003), Bikini-a-Go-Go/Curse of the Erotic Tiki (2004), Genie in a String Bikini (2004), Haunting Desire (2004), Teenage Cavegirl (2004), Glass Trap (2005), Tomb of the Werewolf (2005), Bikini Girls from a Lost Planet (2006), Bikini Pirates (2006), Ghost in a Teeny Bikini (2006), Bewitched Housewives (2007), The Girl With Sex-Ray Eyes (2007), Nuclear Hurricane (2007), Super Ninja Bikini Babes (2007), Polar Opposites (2008), Solar Flare (2008), Tarzeena, Queen of Kong Island (2008), Voodoo Dollz (2008), Dire Wolf (2009), Silent Venom (2009), Bikini Frankenstein (2010), Housewives from Another World (2010), Turbulent Skies (2010), Twilight Vamps (2010), Lady Chatterly’s Ghost (2011), Little Witches (2011), Rewind Time Machine (2011), Super Shark (2011), Dirty Blondes from Beyond (2012), Abner the Invisible Dog (2013), After Midnight (2014), Unwanted Guest (2016), Stage Fright (2017) and The Twin (2017).


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